When in doubt, turn it all over to God and say, “Use me”. He will. And your life will never be the same. And all things will be made for the better. Again and again, say, “Use me”.
Connecting with Spirit can be difficult. It is like sleeping at night. It is like the moon rising. We have to repeatedly let one world fall away to reach the other. The sun tells the moon how wonderful she is, and to bask in the eternal glow of God.